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in 2020, be the leading lady of your own life

Around this time of year, replays of a 2006 classic holiday rom com is played on every channel. Which movie am I talking about? The Holiday starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jack Black, and Jude Law.

While the movie is typical of falling in and out of love during the holiday season, it still has a very strong self love message throughout the movie, which is probably why it’s beloved by so many.

There is a classic line that has always stuck with me from the movie, that I think is helpful for every women to remember.


In one scene of the movie, Kate Winslet’s character, Iris, has dinner with her neighbor, Arthur Abbot, an older gentleman that made movies in Hollywood during the 50’s era, and he gives her a bit of advice:

Arthur Abbott : You know what I've been asking myself all night?

Iris : What? Why I'm bothering you with all these questions?

Arthur Abbott : I'm wondering why a beautiful girl like you would go to a strangers' house for their Christmas Vacation, and on top of that spend Saturday night with an old cock-up like me.

Iris : Well, I just wanted to get away from all the people I see all the time!...

[Arthur looks at her incredulously] 

Iris : Well, not all the people... one person. I wanted to get away from one... guy.

[she sobs] 

Iris : An ex-boyfriend who just got engaged and forgot to tell me.

Arthur Abbott : So, he's a schmuck.

Iris : As a matter of fact, he is... a huge schmuck. How did you know?

Arthur Abbott : He let you go. This is not a hard one to figure out. Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.

Iris : You're so right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake! Arthur, I've been going to a therapist for three years, and she's never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.


“In the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell are a leading lady, but for some reason you’re behaving like the best friend.”

In 2020, it’s time for all of us to start taking Arthur’s advice and being the leading ladies of our own lives. Its time to leave behind old loves, bad breaks, negative self talk, doubt, fear, and the inability to move forward.

What would it look like if you were the leading lady of your own life? ... would you get a new job, move to a new neighborhood, start investing in your health, start dating a different type? Grab a piece of paper, or pull out your notes app on your phone, and write down all the things you do not want to take into 2020 - and the new decade. It’s time to write ourselves into the role we have always wanted and deserve.






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